...fade away? Who knows, what will happen day to day. There are only a few things that anyone can really be certain of. Things change, people change, places change. Everything goes one way, no matter what you really want.

When I was 18, I never thought that I would ever have kids. A family of my own. I am sitting at my house, about to be 24, and pregnant with my.... wait.... our second child. Sure, this time last year, it was all different. HA. What a story that was. Glad to be done with that chapter in my book. I kinda like where this one is going anyway. Seems to have a better storyline, and better ending. Though thats a long way off. It's a late night, we are both still up. Trying to plan for the arrival of our second child. On top of that, everything else that can get possible thrown into our still forming lives. Trying to concieve the best possible solution for everything that we are about to face. We are only here for about a year and a half, then we can go somewhere else. This gets frustrating sometime, but because we want to be together as a family, and endure everything that gets thrown at us. We seem to be doing just fine so far. I look at us with so much.... hope.... that with all that I have been through, I really don't want this to end up like the past. With the way things have been going, I think that everything will be alright.

I think all the hardest parts have came and went. Who's to say that they really have though? Anything can happen, at anytime, and we are there for each other.

Our son, Seth Jr, is due in November. Lillia, our oldest, will be one year very soon. Time goes by way too fast if you ask me.

Looking back at this post, seems to make no sense. I think I just rambled to clear my head. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, that is what you have to do. I feel a little better.

Sometimes I wonder why in the hell I came back into the military. Then I watch the news, I talk to old friends. Ah, I know why. The economy sucks. But that isn't where I am getting at. I just need to remind myself why sometimes.

Everyday, I wake up, and I am like, damn, it's a new day. I get ready, still feeling good. Happy to have a job. On the way to the sitters, still feeling pretty good. Then as soon as I leave there, my feeling for this job goes out the window. I try to keep my sanity on the way to work. Say hey to the guys and gals at the gate if I know them. Here is that damn parking lot again. Shit. I grab my bag, and walk into the building. I like the quiet, first thing in the morning. All of a sudden... SLAM! Here comes some stupid ass shit. Some days, it just keeps coming and coming... like the day is never going to end. Take today for example. Got tasked with something new, like always. Like the good little admin person that I am, I get right to work on it. No kidding, like every 10 minutes, I am being asked "Navarro, what are you doing?" The same response, "What you gave me to do..." On top of that, I am being told, get to work, why are you on the computer... blah blah blah.... It's frustrating trying to get done what I have been trying to get done for like the past hour. Only to be bothered every 15 minutes, thinking it's funny. HE IS NOT FUNNY. Just to through that out there. And another thing, a friend of mine got tasked with something at 4. We were all still there. Didn't really have to be there. Shit like that drives us nuts, but hey, what can we do about it? NOTHING.

Being a civilian has its benefits. Not alot, but it does. I hated being a civilian. After months of working 80 plus hours a week, just to barely squeek by, I got tired of it. At least being a civilian, you can speak your mind a little bit more freely, to tell your boss that he or she is a jackass. Well, there might be some consequences, but not as harsh as military ways.

There is one person that make my day so much better. When I get off of work, my worries slip away. Well, not all of them, but that is for another day... I forget about that crappy day I just had, and I make my way back to the sitters. I pick up my baby girl, and I feel so much better. Even more now, that she smiles and laughs. I am lucky to have her in my life.

Laundry is done, and it is Lillia's bedtime. Good night and have a good one.

I am trying to live mine. I love where its going. I don't think I can be happier. Luckier. I have been given so much in my life. I have worked hard for what I have. I am so greatful for these past several months, and the future months, hopefully, years.

I have had people come and go in my life, and they will never be forgotten. October is here, I remember my godmother, Pam. As December will come, I remember my greatgrandfather, Beto. And September has passed, I remember my uncle, Manuel.

Even crazy people should have their own great life, no matter how they do it. One thing, they shouldn't mess with others lives. Trying to destroy others. I am strong enough to not let it get to me. It is irriating that I have to deal with it. I am strong for myself, for Lillia.

The only good thing about next week, the time will go even faster than ever. If only the mommy leave was an even 60 days! Getting back into the groove of things is going to be a little hard, seeing as I haven't done my actual job in a while. Having to pick up a weapon, standing gates, learning how to drive. An emergency vehicle, that is. Do's and Don'ts. Hectic for a bit. AND wondering if I passed the fall 3rd class exam. I really hope I did.

I'm sitting here right now, watching TLC. A show called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant is on. Really? I really don't understand how this can really happen. Just thought I would throw that in there. At least Mythbusters is new.

Here's to hoping that life goes well. To the bad shit going away.

Good night.  Till next time.